The negative thoughts take laps around my head…

Each one racing to take first place…

Consuming my brain space.

Anxiety growing,

Agitation growing.

Round and round they go and go and go…

Then, an intrusive, quiet whisper asks-

“What is it that you are meditating on?”

Thoughts stop mid-lap.

I realize that I’m doing it again. Letting those thoughts take me captive instead of ME taking THEM captive.

And the realization hits me…I haven’t prayed about it, this thing that’s been consuming me.

I’ve gone through reasons & excuses…I have made up conversations in my mind that haven’t even happened…I have made up thoughts that I thought others might have thought…and I have replayed things over and over that needed to be let go.

All these things had been racing around and around my mind until I was sick and dizzy, not to mention anxious, from them. Consumed by them.

The intrusive whisper had caught me and my thoughts off guard.

I turned to gaze at the Storm Whisperer…and He whispered Truth…like He always does…

Beloved, remember?!! Focus on the true things…the noble things. Focus on what is right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent. Focus on the praiseworthy things.

{In other words…turn your thoughts back to Me!}

It’s Philippians 4:8 that He whispered right into my chaotic thoughts…the verse I’d been meditating on for months…the focus-shifting verse that I need to constantly be reminded of.

I did right then, I turned my thoughts away from chaos and lies and refocused them on Christ, on Truth.

And that Peace Guard (https://amomentatthewell.wordpress.com/2020/01/13/the-peace-guard) came quickly and took up watch over my heart and mind and in that safe space I reflected on the fact that I hadn’t prayed about this thing that had been consuming me.

I had let my feelings…my hurt feelings, some bitter feelings, some angry feelings…sit in the driver’s seat of my mind…and had almost let them be the guide of my actions.

I had let my feelings convince me that I had every right to avoid this painful situation…(every **earthly right** that is…to avoid it).

I had assumed that the Lord was in agreement with my decision, right up until the moment that I uttered…”Lord, what should I do?”

His answer hit me more physically than audibly…I was overwhelmed with emotion and the pain of it.

Surely He wouldn’t give me that answer…not that.

No no no no no, Lord, that can’t be what You’re saying.

Silence.

And conviction immediately started painfully working out the raw Truth of His answer.

I went to the Word.

I went looking to see if that’s really what He was saying to me, hoping it was my crazy feelings again…yet already knowing…

Knowing that Jesus said to “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”…and being reminded by author Bob Goff that “the kind of love that God created and demonstrated is a costly one because it involves sacrifice and presence…it operates more like a sign language than being spoken outright.”

(Flesh screaming…NO, Lord, don’t remind me that love is costly and sacrificial and PRESENT…please don’t remind me of that…)

And then Peter, reminding me in 1 Peter 1 about our “imperishable inheritance, being guarded in heaven by God through faith…in THIS we rejoice, even if now, for a little while, we have been grieved by various trials.”

And I’m reminded that…

Earthly trials can only be endured with Eternal focus.

These hard things that He calls us to do…yes!! He calls us to do HARD things…COSTLY things…SACRIFICIAL things…they CAN ALL be done, but only, only, only with His strength, as Paul reminds us in Philippians.

Why do we think He won’t ask us to do hard things? Why? When He Himself was

…pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins…beaten so we could be whole…whipped so we could be healed. Isaiah 53:5

Ahhh, the pain of the Cross. The hard, painful obedience of Christ.

Peace that I couldn’t understand or explain washed over my entire being…although the pain of what He was asking me to do didn’t go away.

These truths came in waves, washing over me, washing me-reminding me that-

• It’s painful obedience that He will call us to when we follow Him…but He gives us strength in our weakness and peace that doesn’t make sense.
• It’s about living a life of taking bold steps towards the cross, like Jesus, nailing our rights to a tree so God is glorified in us. It’s His steps we are called to walk in.
• It’s trusting the will of the Father like Jesus, who prayed so hard to the Father that the cup would pass and in His anguish, He even sweat blood, yet it didn’t pass. The cup didn’t pass. And He didn’t shake His fist at God, He trusted even in the pain.
• It’s surrendering “rights” like Jesus did, laying down His royal rights for us…and I’m reminded again where my citizenship is. Not here, not in this world with its self-proclaimed rights-the right to do what feels good, the right to retaliate when we’re hurt, the right to be our own god. These are not our “rights”.

We must lay earthly “rights” down when we remember we are citizens of an Eternal Kingdom. It looks crazy here, but from an earthly perspective, God’s Kingdom always looks upside-down. We’ve got to flip our perspective.

The amazing thing is, in this upside-down kingdom of His…the amazing thing is that when we do the hard things that He calls us to do…when we listen and follow, even though it’s painful sometimes, we experience more power and peace and joy when we are sharing in His sufferings, than if we had avoided obedience or hidden from the task.

So let’s come out of the chaos of hiding and listen to the Storm Whisperer…let’s let Him and His Word and His Spirit fill us and lead us. (Father, Son & Holy Spirit…they will always lead us well. They will always work together, never ever contradicting one another.) Those other chaotic voices…they may tell us what we want to hear but they will never, never give Peace, Hope, Joy, and Life.

For this light, momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison…

2 Corinthians 4:17

And so we press on…for that eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison…eyes on Christ and eternity, we press on through, obedient in the painful and hard things that He calls us to…the costly and sacrificial things…

…rejoicing as you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may also rejoice with great joy when His glory is revealed.

1 Peter 4:13

Persevering in faith,

~Nicole
“Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” Colossians 3:16